


The Allegory

by Ononymous



Series: Undertale Anniversary Requests 2017 [9]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Meta, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Semiautobiographical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-18 17:10:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12392454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: He just wanted to drum up some business writing for people. He didn't expect the clientele he'd end up with, or their requests.





	The Allegory

**Author's Note:**

> Original pitch: The author gets a lot of requests to write stuff.

He was seriously questioning the wisdom of this.

He knew his profession, one he stumbled into by accident after a chance encounter touched him deeply, was a niche as it was. Being commissioned to just write whatever. Stories or theories or his pretty bad poetry. But he fit the niche pretty well for the most part. At least he had over the few months he'd been at it. But now business was beginning to slack over the last couple of weeks.

"Oh, you just need to offer a loss leader," said his friend. "Do a big discount so people get a feel for what you can do." It was risky, but it was evolve or die, so he took the chance. He just had no idea about the sort of customers he'd be attracting as a result.

And before he knew it, he had several commissions. Once the shock of seeing a small child escorted by a goat woman had worn off, the rest of the jobs seemed a lot less odd. He did have to write like the dickens to make sure everything was ready by his promised deadline, but now he just had to show them the work and then he'd email it out to them. As he was doing with the small child.

"Hmm..." they were reading it intensely.

"Is, uh, everything okay."

"Oh, sure. I know he'll like this bit in particular. One thing though, could you take out this 'sins of the past are not your sins' line? I feel like that's being dishonest."

"Dishonest? About what?"

The child didn't answer. With a shrug, he complied, making it more like "sins of the past are blunted with time and forgiveness", which the kid was much happier with. A genuine gold coin in his hand, he watched them and their mother depart.

"AH-HA! YOU HAVE FORMATTED MY RECIPE IN A MOST EXCELLENT FASHION. NOW EVEN THE LAZIEST OF LAZYBONES CANNOT USE MY PENMANSHIP AS AN EXCUSE FOR NOT COOKING!"

"Hey, no problem, mister skeleton. I just need to check something with you."

"YES?"

"This part of it, where you say 'leave spaghetti to mature overnight in a vintage oaken casket', is that really how you make it?"

"OF COURSE. THAT'S THE BEST PART! THE SMOKY FLAVOUR IS SUBLIME!"

He shrugged. The customer is always right after all. Getting a second coin to receive a physical copy as well, the skeleton left, muttering about his brother.

"Okay doctor, I think I transcribed these formulae properly. Had to look up a few, they're pretty new to me."

"And w-were you able to make out my c-conclusion? I just needed a s-stronger finish."

"Well I'm still not sure how literal you're being about souls in this paper. So I put in something like 'The bonds once shattered centuries ago by fear can be mended, first in spirit and then in reality'."

The doctor's eyes widened. "J-just like in _Mew Mew_ 3\. That w-will be perfect!"

Another gold coin. Before the doctor could depart he took the time to ask her how to turn these into actual money. He didn't want to be accused of robbing a museum or something. She gave him directions to a Monster Bank that would help him out.

"Hmm, I like the opening. Very strong and exciting. But it kind of loses me in the middle."

"You mean when I flesh out the main character's sister? I thought I did a good job with that."

"Oh technically it's fine, but I wanted a story about the main character. Can you focus more on me- him? Maybe when he's not in a scene, a character could ask 'Where's Metty?' or something. Really underline how important he is."

"Well I do have to explain what his sister knows that he doesn't, or it's like he figures everything out without telling the reader how he did it."

"And? That just shows how awesome and clever he is! That's what we're here for, darling!"

With a sigh, he opened up the file, asking the black and pink gentleman to come back tomorrow and he might be able to fix it.

"I... I think it's too strong." squeaked the Pixie.

He read what he had written. _Dear Frichard. I like you a lot. From Whillie_.

"I'm not sure how I can, well, weaken it any further, sir. Do you actually like him?"

"I do! But if I say I like him a lot, he might think I'm demanding. I don't want to ruin our friendship."

"By saying that you have a friendship at all?"

"Exactly!"

He scratched his chin. "Okay. How about instead I write 'I think I might like you'?"

The pixie thought for a moment. "It's still a little strong. But nothing ventured, right?"

"Now then... sir? Majesty?"

"'Sir' is fine."

"Okay then. Here's the letter. I wasn't able to use all the ways you like her pie, I felt focusing on it too much would make her think all you care about is food."

"I see. Good point."

"I have to ask one question. Do you really want me to include your old pet name for her?"

"Well, she always liked it when I called her Floppybuns-"

"And I'm she enjoyed it at the time. But you're trying to reconcile with her, right? You might be pushing too hard if you resort to that, like you assume she's just ready when she might not be. Maybe if you get anywhere you can think about it. On that note, is 'Tori' her full name?"

"...no. Toriel."

"Okay." He typed it out. "Well that's about as respectful as I can be."

"Um... do you think it will work?"

"I'll be honest, sir, I'm a writer. I'm not a love expert. I don't know what drove you apart or what it would take to overcome that. All I've tried to do is convey your sincerity. Everything else is up to you. I wish you luck."

The towering figure pondered. "Yes. You are right. In the end it will be acts, not words, that decide it. But thank you for these words in any case." Three large coins thudded into his hand.

"Yo, this is awesome!"

"I'm glad you like it, kid! It was your story. I just added a few flourishes. I did have one question."

"Okay, lay it on me."

"This scene, where the Great Papyrus leaps high into the air and shoots blue spears at the bad guy. How come he never did that anywhere else?"

"Oh, right." The lizard frowned a little. "That was from an earlier draft. It had a different character."

"Well do you want me to try and add them back in? A bit of banter between characters can flesh them out."

"Nah. Can you make it where he does his Special Bone Attack instead?"

"Sure." Obliging, he sent the file on.

"Thanks man, I'll get my friends to contact you the next time you're having a sale!"

He flicked a coin at him with his tail, out of necessity as he lacked arms, and hurried away.

"Mister Ticks-"

"Call me Paulie."

"Okay Paulie. I've collated your thoughts about the 'Snowdin Regime' into something I think is coherent. This isn't a speech, it's more of a manifesto. Gives you a platform to run on. Is that what you're doing?"

"Maybe some day. But I'm gonna show my friends first and see what they think. Hey, you remembered to keep the bit about the Snow Tax, right?"

"Well yes, but there isn't a snow tax on the surface. I'm not sure why you'd want to talk about it."

"Gotta make sure we keep it that way, pal. You never know what a politician will try and sneak in! Thanks anyway, this is great!"

His pockets jingling with gold coins, he just about made it to the bank. To his pleasant surprise, they were able to transfer the value straight to his account instead of having to get cash and then go to his normal bank to deposit it. These monsters knew what they were doing. Satisfied after a long day that higher prices would hopefully prevent repeating, he went home and slumped into bed. His phone ringing the next day woke him up.

"Howdy, this is the writer?"

"Yes. Is that you, sir?"

"Yes. I just wanted to say, she smiled! She thanked me for the letter! I believe we may make some progress."

"Oh, well that's great! Well done."

"I shall have to commission you to write another one. Don't worry, I shall pay full price. It's worth it. Even your advice was helpful. Thank you again!"

Huh. Looked like yesterday gave him a regular customer. Couldn't complain about that. Maybe he should grab a few books on relationship advice in case that would be helpful, one way or the other.

**Author's Note:**

> Original Pastebin Version: https://pastebin.com/H49ciu9x
> 
> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
